TOP RANKIN’ ROBERT RANKIN.

"CAR MAINTENANCE: The Jesuit approach. It is an observable fact that all the best second-hand cars had ‘only one owner’ and he invariably a man of the cloth who only used the car to drive to church. Yet, when purchased, these prove to be unreliable and very often a downright danger to life and limb. So how might this be?

Cynics assert that the car salesman has in some way misrepresented the car’s former owner. I think not. The simple fact is that the engine, bearings, gearbox and other mechanical bits and bobs have become Devil-possessed. The demonic forces were kept at bay by the previous owners, notably, the Jesuits. But once in the hands of free thinkers and atheists (a substantial percentage of Cortina owners) they go on the rampage.

The simple institution of the five thousand mile exorcism puts the little buggers to flight."

Hugo Rune, in Robert Rankin’s They Came And Ate Us. 1991.

Robert Rankin has been overlooked by most ‘Cortina drivers’ to date. ‘Nostradamus Ate My Hamster’, ‘Armageddon; The Musical’, ‘The Suburban Book Of The Dead’, and ‘Raiders Of The Lost Car Park’. The very titles of Rankin’s novels bear testimony to his healthy wilful disrespect for all things religious and paranormal. Though well known, his reputation suffers due to comparisons with other humorists, such as Terry Pratchett and Douglas Adams. Rankin’s style is actually unique, offbeat and wildly funny. Rankin has created his own unique genre, which he calls ‘Far Fetched Fiction